Friday, November 4, 2011

Worst Mom EVER?

Today was the first day of my new part, part time job.  Today was training, preparing for my first real day tomorrow.  Turns out, working is much easier than being a full time, stay at home Momma. 

As I left the house this afternoon, I felt a twinge of guilt.  Grace watched as shut the door behind me and I started to wonder if she'd think I left her behind.  Would Ryan know how to do things for her like Mommy does them? (I'm a jerk, he's an awesome Dad, but I'm a psycho perfectionist) I couldn't help but feel like I'd just left Grace behind.  

As I got into my car, I tried desperately to shake the negative vibe that I'd let overcome me.  First stop, Tim Horton's.  As I sipped my coffee and listened to some seriously crappy radio show, I felt - relaxed.  A $2 cup of coffee and some priceless peace and quiet had cleared the remaining vestiges of guilt I'd had about working, right up!  

Being a stay at home momma is NO EASY FEAT.  Each and every goal I set is somewhere between 10 and a 100 times harder to reach.  With a toddler never too far behind, tasks like grocery shopping, cooking, cleaning, and laundry, often feel like nothing short of running laps in a hamster wheel.  So today, having a few set tasks to complete, free of anyone undoing my work two seconds after I finished ... felt REALLY good.  I'd forgotten what it felt like to really accomplish tasks.  

I guess all of those stay at home mom haters were right.  I should be working! 

After a couple of hours of training and a quick bite to eat, I was on my way back to Mommyville.  When I saw my little girl, who at the time was in serious need of a nap and thus incredibly fussy, I swept her right up into my arms and was hard pressed to let her go.

No comments:

Post a Comment


Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...