As I left the house this afternoon, I felt a twinge of guilt. Grace watched as shut the door behind me and I started to wonder if she'd think I left her behind. Would Ryan know how to do things for her like Mommy does them? (I'm a jerk, he's an awesome Dad, but I'm a psycho perfectionist) I couldn't help but feel like I'd just left Grace behind.
As I got into my car, I tried desperately to shake the negative vibe that I'd let overcome me. First stop, Tim Horton's. As I sipped my coffee and listened to some seriously crappy radio show, I felt - relaxed. A $2 cup of coffee and some priceless peace and quiet had cleared the remaining vestiges of guilt I'd had about working, right up!
Being a stay at home momma is NO EASY FEAT. Each and every goal I set is somewhere between 10 and a 100 times harder to reach. With a toddler never too far behind, tasks like grocery shopping, cooking, cleaning, and laundry, often feel like nothing short of running laps in a hamster wheel. So today, having a few set tasks to complete, free of anyone undoing my work two seconds after I finished ... felt REALLY good. I'd forgotten what it felt like to really accomplish tasks.
I guess all of those stay at home mom haters were right. I should be working!
After a couple of hours of training and a quick bite to eat, I was on my way back to Mommyville. When I saw my little girl, who at the time was in serious need of a nap and thus incredibly fussy, I swept her right up into my arms and was hard pressed to let her go.