Friday, March 4, 2011

X-rays and Gowns.

Little Princess <3
Its been over two weeks since I've posted and I'd like to report that all is well on the home front, but that doesn't seem entirely accurate.  The last few weeks have brought about many new developments, both good and bad.  Grace's baptism last weekend was definitely one of the high points.  We got our little lady all gussied up and took her to church.  She was a little angel throughout the service and ceremony, entertaining our family behind us with intermittent grins, giggles, and a couple of grunts for good measure.  We'd planned on giving Grace a little taste of the chocolate cake we'd ordered for the party afterward but she slept through the entire thing!  It was so nice seeing our families! 

In other news, Grace has graduated from supported sitter to sitter.  She is no longer satisfied with being pulled to sitting from a diaper change, she now plants her feet and stands up! Its amazing and terrifying at the same time.  I'm so proud of her strength and determination, but a little scared of her new move.  I predict this little monkey will be walking sooner that we had expected! 

Waiting for Shots :(
Now for the sucky part.  Grace had her 6 month check up/shots yesterday, which we were a bit late on as she is approaching 7 months. Grace is growing like a weed and her motor skills are advanced.  She took her shots like a champ, whimpering a little, then gallantly strolling out of the office as though nothing had happened.  We came to this routine visit with concern.  From birth, Grace has favored laying her head to the right while sleeping.  We would try and alternate her head, moving it to the opposite side during her rest, to no avail. She developed a small flat spot on the right side of her head, just barely noticeable unless you're looking for it.  Being the neurotic Mother I am, I mentioned this to the nurse, and was promptly scared silly.  While the nurse wasn't sure her head was cause for concern, she mentioned that this could cause tightening of the neck muscle on the right side, as she is usually only stretching her left muscle.  She explicitly told us that any/all of these things were fixable and ultimately not terribly serious, but that we'd want to start physical therapy to get those neck muscles moving and possible meet with a specialist to discuss her head shape further.  The first step in all of this was X-rays, as they didn't want to start working on her muscles without first verifying that it wasn't something more serious.  Four shots later, a nervous Mommy and sleepy baby were headed to the hospital to get some pictures taken. 

The X-rays were hellish.  Grace did okay at first but got impatient pretty quickly.  They strapped Grace into what looked like a baby electric chair and shined lights in her eyes.  My Mom and I tried to keep her distracted and still any way we could.  We had a few different shots taken of her skull and neck/spine, and were finally able to escape.  I was told I'd get a call in the next few days regarding the results but still woke up a 9am this morning and called 15 times only to be told they'd call as soon as they read the report.  Never in my life have I worried like I've worried for my baby.  I'm sure the x-ray procedure didn't cause her any lasting mental scars and I wish I could say the same for my heart.  It broke my heart watching my little lady squirm her way out of her little lead vest.  I wanted to punch the x-ray tech in the face when she strapped my baby in the chair, but refrained.  With the x-rays done, waiting commenced.  Waiting for results, waiting for referrals, waiting for anything.  It makes me feel physically ill to think of anything being wrong with her and me not being able to help.  Shortly behind worry comes blame.  I blame myself for not being more diligent in rotating her head when she slept and for letting her sleep in her swing. I wish I could do this for her.  I hate the idea of her having to receive any treatment for whatever she does or doesn't have to correct.  Although I'm reassured it isn't true, I feel like a failure of a mother in some way.  I look at this little baby, who counts on me for everything, and feel like I let her down.  (sorry for venting)

Anyway, we're currently in the waiting stage.  I've got books being shipped to our local library from all around Michigan, regarding infant physical therapy and stretching exercises to help correct this problem.  We've started some basic stretching during feeding and play time and I'm hoping this will begin to remedy the problem. 

In the meantime, we'll be stretching and praying, and as always -  keeping bananas where the ought to be - in Grace's mouth. :)

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