Thursday, February 3, 2011

Mom Jeans

My incredible shrinking wardrobe is an endless reminder of my ever expanding waistline (and bust, and booty).  Momma ain't thin.  The days of low-rise jeans, mid-drift bearing tops (which I never really had any business wearing anyway), and bare extremities are long gone.  These days, its a rarity that I'm seen in something other than sweats.  Sweats eliminate the protrusion of problem areas.  They cover the muffin top, the bingo arms, and the jelly belly.  Sadly, I am forced to leave my comfortable sweat-haven every once in a while and thus must proudly strut my Mommy figure.  

As a fairly young mother, I straddle the fence between the junior's section and the women's section. While I'm certain my figure isn't cohesive with the hip hugging former, looks like I'll be browsing the Mom jeans.  God help me.  

 Nothing about a 6 month old and Michigan winter suggests gym time or an outdoor excursion, thus I've spend quite some time researching the home workout DVDs.  P90X was my first stop.  Upon watching the "Ab Ripper X" video, it dawned on me that I may actually collapse and die if I jump headfirst into that workout regiment.  Now if they offered a less intense option, for those of us who lived off of Mc-Chickens and pierogies for the past year (disgusting, I know), I might have given it a shot.  Next was the Jillian Michael's program.  Although I feel confident that I could keep up with her workouts, I'm not sure how I feel about looking at her condescending pout while working out. She's hard enough to look at 5am, when her infomercial is aired on EVERY channel.  Adding calisthenics to the mix may be difficult. 

I guess the first step in any diet/exercise plan is balance.  I can't speak for all stay at home Mamas, but one of my biggest struggles is snacking.  Turns out I've got quite a bit in common with my infant counter part. Every couple of hours, I need food or I get colicky.  Learning to fill my day with activities that don't include chocolate, bread, and cheese will be essential in my fight against mom jeans.  

First things first, finish up this chocolate cake so as to have start fresh tomorrow! 


  1. Hi, I found you and your blog on Bloggy Moms and I think you are hilarious! I will definitely be reading your blog! I am new to this whole blog thing but I love it so far. Check out my blog at:

  2. I've been wearing mom jeans since the '90s sans the title "mom". If you wear long tops, no one will ever know!



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