Monday, February 27, 2012

Suck it up, cupcake.

Well I'm officially back to work part time, decorating cakes at a place near us.  First things first,  I LOVE it.   I've always loved decorating cakes and am absolutely thrilled to get back into the groove of it.  Right now I'm only working a couple of days a week as this is their slow time of year, but am told it will pick up come springtime.  I have mixed emotions on the whole working thing.   To be honest, I'm happy to be working.  But then again, I have a really difficult time pretending that what I've been doing over the past 18 months hasn't been working.  For god sake people, being a Mama is the hardest job EVER. 

As I've said a gazillion times before, Motherhood is the job that literally never stops.  You're expected to have your head in the game 100% of the time, and if you drop the ball - things can go seriously wrong,  and quick. 

Needless to say, I've enjoyed my weekly "escape", if you will.   I feel like I can actually accomplish something when I'm at work, without a toddling little girl following two steps behind me - Tasmanian deviling her way through the place.  And it doesn't hurt to make a little extra cash too!

Every time I leave, I struggle with the guilt of leaving my little girl.  Fortunately for us, Ryan is able to stay at home when I'm gone and vice versa, so she's always with a parent.  But still, I feel awful leaving her behind.  Luckily, this maternal guilt is usually fleeting and can be remedied by a nice cup of coffee and some peaceful NPR listening on the 10 minute drive to work.  Oh, silence.  How I've missed thee.

The best part of the new gig is coming home.  I've said to Ryan on multiple occasions, that I envy his coming home ritual.  He's always absolutely thrilled to see Grace and she is totally beside herself when "dada" walks in the door.  As a stay at home mother, I hadn't really had a chance to miss her or be missed.

Now, I find myself racing home, barely able to wait to see my little lady.  When I walk in she lights up and screams "mama!" in a way that suggests she'd been waiting for me all afternoon.  We hug, we kiss, and she runs off to return to whatever mischief she'd left behind.  I am fulfilled and Dad is tired.

And then, Grace explodes her diaper and punches me in the face and I'm ready to go back to work!

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  1. I think it's great that you're working again! I can totally understand how it would be an emotional paradox, though. I think you hit the nail on the head when you said you haven't had the chance to "miss or be missed"... I think everybody needs that in lots of situations. Congrats, lady, and I think you're doing an awesome job :)

  2. Oooh, decorating cakes? That sounds awesome!!

  3. Yes! It's really nice to be able to make a little extra cash doing something I really enjoy!!



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