Mom, I'm Pregnant..

The little white test said it would take two minutes for a positive line to appear.  The tiny blue lines appeared so quickly, you would have thought I was radiating pregnancy vibes.  Two years ago on today's date, I found out I was pregnant and  began preparing myself for the immense changes that were ahead. 

We had ordered pizza that evening and upon picking it up - I scurried to the drugstore to grab a test.  At no point had I actually  thought I was really pregnant, but taking a test just felt like the right thing to do.  I had been feeling a bit queasy but found a hundred things to blame it on.  I wasn't late late, but remember thinking to myself "shouldn't I have had it by now?".

As Ryan sat down for dinner, I headed to the bathroom.  The lines appeared quickly and were followed shortly by several piercing shrieks.  Not typically screamer, Ryan headed right over, imagining a scenario involving a giant spider or menacing house centipede. The shock had paralyzed me.  I couldn't move or say much, but somehow found it within me to keep on shrieking.  I don't remembering being upset or disappointed in the result, I was just totally shocked.  

 I knew I needed to tell my family right away.  That evening dragged on.  I knew I was about to shock the hell out of my parents and that my best bet at a smooth delivery involved me not bawling like a basket case.  Easier said than done.  My folks took it surprisingly well, possible even got a bit excited.  At 1am, we all sat around the Christmas tree reassuring each other that everything would be just fine.  My parents encouragement and strength that evening and for the next 40 weeks, helped ease the blow of this unexpected pregnancy immensely. 

Just as we were wrapping up the incredibly intense conversation, my brother Mikey woke up wondering what all the fuss was about.  When I told him, he didn't believe it right away, but as it started to resonate his expression changed.  He looked sad.   This was what I was afraid of.  I couldn't handle the thought of my parents or siblings being disappointed in me.  The last thing I ever wanted to do was bring shame to my family or embarrass my siblings.

My mother stepped in, making sure Mikey would be okay.  I think we were all shocked that he was taking it this hard.  After pressuring him to talk about it and reassuring him that everything would be fine, he finally let it out.

"I'm failing Spanish!"

 Ah, the Hogan way.  My little menace of a brother realized quickly that something bigger than bad grades was going on and took that opportunity to clear his own conscious!  What a genius!  This lighthearted and hilarious interruption had us all laughing our butts off.  

Today is the two year anniversary of one of the most life changing days of my life.  With the support of Ryan, my parents, and my siblings, were able to navigate our way through those  few difficult months.  Today, I went sledding with my little surprise baby and had the time of my life.  Two years ago I worried my life was over, and today - I can hardly wait for tomorrow.